We’ve all heard this myth. But is it true? Will bottoming always hurt?

Does Bottoming Have to Hurt?

The short answer is NO. Anal sex does not have to hurt. That being said when it is done incorrectly it can be incredibly painful! Here are 6 tips to make bottoming pleasurable.


Start by yourself

Get comfortable with the feeling to anal penetration. Relax and take deep breaths. Just explore in a situation that is completely within your control, I suggest you start in the shower or on your bed. Start with your (clean) finger and some anal lube. Work a finger into your hole and learn what feels good. When you're comfortable with that try two or three fingers. Once you get used to that try penetrating yourself with a small dildo or butt plug. Listen to your body if something hurts stop.

The Colt Anal Trainer Kit is the perfect set of plugs to get you in shape for anal sex.


When you’re ready for a partner

Make sure it’s someone you trust

You need to feel safe with the person. If you don’t feel safe your body will be tense and that can cause pain. You also need to be able to communicate with your partner to tell them if something hurts. Be sure to communicate what you’re feeling if you're nervous tell them and ask them to take it slow.

Don’t skip the foreplay

Foreplay helps make you relaxed and aroused which will make anal much more enjoyable. Warm up with a rim job and fingering before you jump into penetration.

Take control

You're worried about pain so take control of how deep your top goes and how hard he thrusts. You can do this by being on top and easing onto his erection. Remember to take deep breaths like you did when you were using the toys.

Use a lot of lube

Make sure you use a lube that is made for anal sex. You can even get a lube that has benzocaine, like anal-eze to desensitize you and make entry easier. Be sure to use it with a condom!

Find the most comfortable position for you.

Not everyone likes the same position. What he likes may not be the most comfortable to you. The only way to find out what’s best for you is to try different positions.


The most important piece of advice I’m going to give you is to listen to your body if something hurts stop. Trust your body it knows what to do.